Yes, I’ve been dubbed a monster before, even a demon, most often spoken from the lips of my enemies. More than half of the time, I can concur with them. I am a monster; not worthy of the kindness I’ve been shown by countless others. I am a demon… Not worthy of the forgiveness I’ve been given… I am a monster, and I have no problem becoming one to slay my foes… But not… Not in front of them… Not in front of her…
My name, Vincent Valentine. I won’t bother with the… messy details… It’s a long tale to tell, for I have lived past what any mortal should, and experienced enough pain and suffering to last many lifetimes. As I have mentioned earlier, I am a demon, a monster, and a failure… Although some may disagree. I’ve been called a savior, a hero, and a miracle among other things… I’ve taken part in the Jenovial war true enough and I have taken down the head of Deepground with the help of my companions. I’ve taken down Deepground’s elite, their Tsviets single-handedly, all save one, a young girl named Shelke, although she should be nineteen but is frozen in the body of her ten year old self, but even by my standards- me at the age of sixty- she is still quite young. But do not think me old and feeble because of my age, there you would be dead wrong. I will not delve into the details of these gruesome turn of events partly because I myself do not know the whole story, but because of a… Mad scientist’s… exploits; I have almost been frozen in the image of my twenty-year-old self… With some significant differences. But as I said, I will not bother with the details.
Now, to the story at hand, if you’d caught my earlier comment, I have no quarrel with what I truly am, but… I can’t… I just can’t… Not in front of her… Not again… And not Shelke if you ponder who I might be talking about, no, she’s seen me enough times in the form of my… inner demon… Chaos… Chaos… “A soul wrought of terra corrupt”… At least that’s what I’ve been told. I’ve had problems with Chaos before… And even though I have regained the Proto-Materia… Even though I have gained the item that can give me control over that demon… It has… started to fail me… I get frequent bouts of those pains in my chest, every time my heartbeats sending waves of pain that rack my body, leaving me defenseless… Just like before… Just like before when I had the Proto-Materia extracted from my chest by Rosso… Just like when I didn’t have any control… These almost seizure like spasms hit me at random… And they’ve become more frequent, much to my dismay… But not only have they become more perpetual, but they have also become immensely more painful… It’s become a severe struggle just to maintain my sanity and control over my own body… Which has, to say the least, worried me continually. It’s so nerve racking to be content one minute, spending time with my companions, and then the next, huddled over in pain trying to hold back Chaos. A bout of these pains that has taken a hold of me has troubled me the most.
I had finally journeyed out to rejoin my comrades after much urging from Shelke who had been, “Sent to get me.” I had come in the middle of the night to the inn that Cloud and Tifa own titled “Seventh Heaven”, where all of my associates come together more often than not. I figured they’d all been meeting there daily to relay any news of the discovery of my whereabouts to each other, and hoped they would all be there this night, perhaps discussing where I might be and plans for finding me. I approached the front door and sure enough, one light in the bar area of this inn was on. I paused for a moment at the front door and listened to the dull hum of the different voices inside. Sure enough everyone was there, Barret with his big booming voice, Cid with his gruff and southern like drawl, Tifa with her feminine tone that could be gentle, but could also demand respect in an instant. There was Cloud’s sometimes-enigmatic voice, and even Reeve’s voice could be heard addressing the group with his newly formed plans no doubt. I also caught the hum of Red XIII’s voice, though he doesn’t speak much at all, keeping to himself more often. I managed to catch the sound of the once, emotionless sounding Shelke speaking of how she had seen me only days before and had asked me to join them but didn’t know if I would, or could for that matter. And last but not least, I heard the usually cheery and energetic voice of Yuffie, but she did not sound at all “cheery” this night, she sounded weary and downcast and running out of hope, “I’ve looked almost everywhere I can think of… I even went underneath ShinRa Manor and checked his coffin…” That amused me slightly, but what amused me more was the morbid like silence that ensued from my companions hearing that she had, “defiled” my coffin, everyone else was nervous hearing about that no doubt. They didn’t like my coffin, not in the least, and they knew it meant something to me, even though I despised it to some extent now, and they were even more nervous about what might happen if news of this got to me. “I just don’t know what to do anymore…” I heard Yuffie continue, almost breaking into sobs. That made me feel guilty, whether I had done something wrong or not… I didn’t like hearing her so full of sorrow… It made me fill with sorrow myself… I couldn’t wait any longer; I had to let them know I was… “Alive and well” or at least to some extent.